I wish that my life were like an independent coffee shop, named "The Daily Grind." I'm sure there is one out there, somewhere. I wish that, instead of the actual, straight-up interpretation of my schedule, it was a cute little joke.
"Oh, no, no, no! No, I don't actually have to get up at 5:15am each morning, to get ready to leave the house and spend it with several hundred adolescents! Gracious, no. I just like folks to have that idea of me, because it's glamorous. Actually, I'm self-employed, and I sit at my computer, writing, reading, and publishing. I drink coffee in the morning, and often go out to meet a friend at a coffee shop. No, sorry. My life is so boring! I wish it was that glamorous! Who gets up at 5:15???"