Wednesday, May 26, 2004

Your final exam.

Don't worry, it's easy.

There is one, and only one question on your exam. Please remember to get enough sleep and eat a healthy breakfast before taking this exam. I will not be held responsible for those who do not follow the directions.

Directions: Answer the question in complete sentences. Extra points will be awarded for sarcasm.

1. Which morning is better than THIS morning?

Go ahead....take your time....think about it..... can do pressure.....

Ok, time's up! And the answer is:


So? How did you do on your exam? Don't worry if you didn't get the answer right. That just means you don't work in public school. :)

--groovygrrl, queen of vacation

p.s. I have changed my voice mail in honor of summer vacation. In a nutshell, it tells people that if they are calling me from work, about work, not to bother to leave a message, because I won't answer it. If you want to call to invite me to summer fun times, then go right ahead. :)

Monday, May 24, 2004

Best Monday of the Year's Today!

Yes folks, today is the best Monday EVER, because it is the last Monday of the year. When I was leaving the house today, I said to my wee daughter, "Only 3 more days of work, honey! Then mama will be home!" It was so refreshing to realize that. I suppose it is somewhat refreshing to know that I will actually make it to the end of the year, and not collapse in a puddle of rage and uncertainty. It's been known to happen.

I am still in a bit of a frenzy, however. End of the school year and all that, y'know. Perhaps you don't know. Perhaps you have to work through the summer, while I get to sleep late (a lie), take long walks in the park (a truth), and spend the whole summer gardening (also a truth).

Whoever made the first kitschy thing at a craft fair that said, "What are the best three things about teaching? June, July, and August!" was not only being very cheesy, but very truthful. I can't believe I'm ending today's blog with a quote from a craft fair tchotchke. good lord.

You see? The children steal my brain!

--groovygrrl, queen of craft fairs

Thursday, May 20, 2004

Rally Monkey!

...dang. I left him at home.

I am participating in a rally today, outside of the administration offices for Big School District. We are attempting to make the school board aware of our dissatisfaction with the budget decisions which do not make teacher pay and professional judgment a priority.

My husband and daughter will march with me! My sign says:

Tax-paying Family
Big School District $elling my
daughter's future

The media have been alerted. With my husband and baby, and this sign, I'm thinking the front page of tomorrow's paper is possible. Stay tuned!

--groovygrrl, queen of stickin'-it'-to-the-man!

Monday, May 17, 2004

Lime Rickeys, Take 2

...they sell them in the grocery store!


I wanted some soda for yesterday (we've been off soda in our house...trying to cut down), so I strolled down the aisle at our local Safeway. I picked up some Safeway brand, diet Black Cherry soda (75 cents for a six-pack), and saw, DIET CHERRY LEMON-LIME SODA!

They sell Cherry Lime Rickeys! In the store! FOR CHEAP!

I was in heaven. I drank two of them with dinner.

--groovygrrl, queen of limey bargains

Thursday, May 13, 2004

Had it!

...I have absolutely had it.

I appealed to the principal of our school today. Yesterday, when 4 teachers had to restrain a student from kicking another student's ass, and then neither of the students get suspended, I've had it. After we had a general outcry of harumphing about this, both boys were suspended. But it took a lot of harumphing.

Why? Why the hell is there a question about whether or not to suspend a kid? It is May 13, for gods' sake! If they don't know how to behave by now, they aren't going to get it! Get them out of here!

Callous, you say? Bad teacher I am, you say? Talking like Yoda I am, you say?

To that I say, "Tough cookies! You come teach them! You come try to teach a group of kids who actually WANT to learn, but can't, because I have to deal with passive-agressive bullshit when a kid won't even leave the class when she's kicked out!" (She actually started arguing with the principal, when I called him up to escort her out. He got my point.)

We have 8 1/2 days of school left . Somebody mix me a martini, quick. I may not make it.

--groovygrrl, queen of self-medication

Tuesday, May 04, 2004

What the hell is a 'lime rickey'?

...because I think I love them.

At the end of the school year, (read: right now) the teachers start to get antsy. They are short-tempered, often off-task, and they go out to lunch a lot more than they used to. They also might have to double their doses of Prozac, as I'm sure you can all imagine.

To wit (about the lunch, not the Prozac): S. told me he was going to Sonic for his lunch today, and did I want a cherry limeade? Of course, I said, "...huuuyeah!" I said this because I love that cherry limeade.

And here he is, even as I write this: he enters my classroom, bearing the aforementioned cherry limeade, which will henceforth be referred to as the "cherry lime rickey."

Where the hell did that title for a drink come from? What makes something a "rickey?" Is it the carbonation? The combination of flavors? Or is it a rickey, as Descartes might observe, simply because I say so?

All I know is, this cherry lime rickey is delicious. It is also the envy of the students, who are all begging me to have some. To them, I say, "Nay!" and slurp away.

Payback for all the crap I've been taking from them this year.

--groovygrrl, queen of *ssslllllluuuuuurrrrrp!*

Monday, May 03, 2004

gone fishin''s all about the Benjamins.

So I discovered that there are positions open at the alternative high school where I had the best teaching experience of my life. I checked into it, and if they place me on the salary schedule where I think I deserve to be, I'll be making a lot more money than I am now.

"But!" I thought to myself, "this is the same district that let you go 6 years ago. Perhaps you should hold on to your grudge?"

"No," I replied to myself, " I should let the grudge go. I loved teaching at that school. Just because the people running the district are short-sighted doesn't mean I shouldn't go back. That teaching position is just too awesome. Plus, are you going to turn down money in your pocket because of some stupid feelings?"

And to that, I replied, as any "good American" would: "Of course not."

Therefore, I'm goin' on a fishin' expedition. I'm going to apply for the position, and see what happens. If nothing happens, I still have my current job.

Added benefit: It will annoy my current principal. Hee.

--groovygrrl, queen of money management