New blog! Please tell your friends!

I have created a new blog! It will rival all the others for hilarious content! To wit:

Caught in Class


Enjoy. But tell your blog friends first.

NaBloWriMo is over!

Today is the last day of October, and thus ends NaBloWriMo. Thanks to those who participated. I learned a lot, and read a lot, and mostly, I blogged a lot. And that's what it was all about. *sniff*

For those who didn't participate, consider it for next year! Perhaps we'll have a ton of folks doing it. I'll keep the blog, and post there every once in a while, to keep it active.

'Twas fun! Now it's over. *sighs* At least I made it through. I think I only missed two days, and blogged extra to make up for it.

I can't believe I did another project. It just goes to show you: if you want something done, ask a busy person to do it.


But don't ask me.

Tuesday, Bloody Tuesday

*teacher walks in with a bloody finger*

Teacher 1: damn it! I cut my finger on a box.

Other teacher,who borrows first teacher's room: Eew! You're all bloody. You're Bloody McGee.

Teacher 1: It fits for Halloween, anyway.

Student writing a scary story: Miss! I need your finger to put blood on my paper!

Teacher 1: No!

Other teacher: Stop that!

Student: Well then, can I have the stapler?

Both teachers: NO!!

Scary

I sat down to blog yesterday, and it didn't happen. Why? I don't even remember. That's how busy I've been.

Oh, and you want scary? Today at school is the Halloween Social. 360 11 to 14-year-old kids, slithering around with each other on the dance floor.

*shudder*


My duty is in the other gym, face painting. Much more palatable.

Call for Change

MoveOn.org is awesome. Grassroots politics is my kind of thing. I love that we can use the internet to reach so many freakin' people, and get the word out about important issues as quickly as one can blog.

Toward that end, I'm doing my part to blog for the Call for Change. Click the link and read more:

My work here is done.

GOD DAMN IT

I missed the best day of the year. I've done this before. You would think, as a sleep-loving person, I would have remembered it. And I did! Last week, I remember saying, "Oh! Next Sunday will be so sweet! We get to sleep an extra hour!"


Um...no. I am up.


As compensation, my husband said he would put our daughter to bed tonight, so that I can get the extra sleep I missed. Wanna take bets on whether or not I get it?

Parent-teacher conferences

You'd think that after those student conversations, and that headline right up there, that this post would be witty, thrilling, and altogether entertaining.

Well, you would be wrong if you thought those things, because parent-teacher conferences are rarely fun. I enjoy meeting parents and talking to them. I rarely have a parent who is "angry" or "upset" or "criminally insane." But we sometimes do. One learns to live with it.

So last night I stayed after school, ate some pizza provided by the principal, took off and went to my own parent conference at the elementary school, came back, and stayed until 8pm. This morning, we were there from 8am-12pm, and then we had a 1/2 day off. So here I am, dull and listless. Barely blogging.

One learns to live with it.

Spinning

Beginning of class:


***student spins around and around***

Student: I'm spinning.

Me: (blank stare)

Student: *stops* I'm dizzy.

First interaction this morning

Me: Good morning!

Girl : Miss, what have you had?

Me: **hold up Starbucks cup**

Girl: Miss, you need that to go away from you.

More conversations from the trenches

Me: Okay, we're writing our definition for "handbag." "A handbag is a fashion accessory that is a container that holds stuff. It is..." (pauses for students to continue the definition)

Student: ...flammable.




***************************

Regarding a student who was using some lotion:

Student: Why does he use lotion?

Me: He has dry skin, like anybody else who uses lotion.

Same Student: Touch my skin; it feels so silky smooth.

Me: No.

More adolescent conversation

Student 1: Ms. B calls Patty "Peggy" all the time.

Patty: Yeah! She says, "Hey, Peggy, Peggy, Peggy!"

Me: And what do you say?

Patty: I don't answer her.

Me: Good call.

Student 1: She should call you Krabby Patty.

Patty: Shut up!

My conversation

Period 5, my classroom:

Student 1: *stares at the smudges on my t-shirt*

Me: I know, I know. I'm a mess today.

Student 1: Why?

Me: Because school is a dirty place.

Normally Potty-Mouthed Student 2: You're telling me!

Sooooo cooooold

It was so cold this morning! I wore my heavy coat for the entire market. The sun was out, but my tent is in the shade of two large trees, so to get any warmth, I had to stand in the thoroughfare. When I started packing up, I could take my coat off. And it took my fingers about another hour before they were functioning normally.

Despite the cold, I had an average day at the market. It wasn't busy at all, but people were buying from me. I love it! I think the other soaper was gone today, so that might have helped.

I'm now preparing for the craft fair in earnest. I'll be making soap most every day this week. Stay tuned.

Day off

I had to earn my day off this week. We didn't get home from our "stuff" until around 7pm. I just ran home from work, picked everybody up, and took off, so I wasn't really "home," just chauffeuring people.

We saw that it was snowing last night, and also checked the weather forecast--ugly and crappy. My words, of course. So we called the farmer's market manager and said we weren't coming. I have to go tomorrow because of the street events, but it isn't supposed to snow, at least. It'll be super-cold, though. For a market.

Next week is the last market! Three weeks until my craft fair!

Shanghai Travelogue

My friend Esri is traveling in Shanghai with her husband (on business). You can read about her trip here.

Today, let's think.

Today, let's think about our health. Let's think about what we can do to give ourselves a little more balance. Take some down time. Breathe in and out. Don't make lists. Don't plan meetings. Don't prepare for anything. Just sit and enjoy.

What's that like?

Are you able to do it? Are you able to just sit and enjoy something? Anything? I find myself, more and more unable to do so. It is unhealthy and ultimately damaging, so I'm going to do something about it. I'm going to enjoy something hysterical. Something wild.


Something like this. Because that's just hilarious.

sleep, finally.

I got 9 hours of sleep last night. Today, then, was amazing simply because I felt better. And man! I never knew exactly how productive I am when I get some sleep. It was amazing!

gotta run. the pumpkin bread is coming out of the oven soon.

Celebrity "Exhaustion"

Okay. I am quite tired. Last night, the cutie didn't fall asleep for a long time. Then, at about 2am, she woke up, crying. Why? She kept grabbing her legs/knees and saying 'owie.' Leg cramp?

Or maybe she had a nightmare, we decided. After talking to our school psychologist, he mentioned that night terrors start when kids begin having "stranger danger" or a fear of new people. She did start going to school just a couple of weeks ago, so maybe she's processing all that stress.

In any case, I'm tired as hell. Made the soap last night, but can't tonight because my oil order isn't in. I am literally out of the necessary materials. So, I am taking the night off from soap making. I did cut the soap from last night, and it smells great, and whoopity doo I don't give a shit anymore would someone just please let me sleep?

Alright, then.

p.s. why "celebrity exhaustion?" Because I don't believe them. I don't think they know what exhaustion is.

Snow!

First snow of "this" fall/winter! It's sticky and thick and wonderful! No more allergies!

Of course, the children were wacko at school. Why does that happen? Why does a change in the weather make them crazy? Probably the same reason the full moon does. Also, they are hormonal and wacky on any given day, and many of them are also just plain terrible.

Yeah, I said it.

So I came home from a VERY productive day at work (how did that happen?), and became very productive at home. DH had been doing his usual Tuesday basement remodeling with Friend J., so I made dinner: fresh-baked scones (yeah, I can bake), scrambled eggs with cheese, and sausages. And coffee.

After the past few days, I needed some early-evening coffee. DD has been staying up very late at night. Of course, today she won't fall asleep right away because she didn't go outside--bad weather. However, when grandma comes over on Tuesdays, she's often worn out because grandma plays with her a lot.

We'll see.

I have to make a half-batch of soap tonight because I'm almost out of palm oil, and don't have enough for my standard batch. I do have enough to make a half-batch I think, which will be good because I have to make felted soaps for my holiday craft fair.

One more day almost down.

*KOOOOOFFF!*

Add to that...

...my daughter's last private speech therapy session for the year on Friday, making soap every night (did I say that?), and lots and lots of coughing.

Lots of coughing.

Our money is running a little short this month. It's driving me crazy. I have to pay business bills (small ones), and our yearly wastewater bill. I also have to arrange my daughter's papers so she can be evaluated at a hospital to "rule out" autism spectrum. (read: maybe)

I still feel like I'm going a mile a minute.

How fast...?

How fast does your week fly by? I've already got my whole week ahead planned out. In my mind, my week is already over, and it hasn't even started:

• write IEPs on Monday, and send them "Downtown"
• prepare for Wednesday's meeting on Tuesday
• Wednesday meeting after school
• Thursday meeting at 10am to fix someone's wagon
• Friday--two IEP meetings and bring food for breakfast club

There. See? It's all done already.

So...can I sleep in tomorrow, because it's Saturday?

Bronchial Death Walking

I caught the crud. I guess it was about 4 days ago. It started with a bit of a sore throat, and just a little mucus. Barely anything, since I have asthma anyway. Then, just like that, it hit me like a frieght train--lungs full of mucus that STUCK. Coughing incessantly wouldn't budge this stuff. I woke up a couple of days ago, and coughed, and it felt like my sternum was being ripped out of my chest by a giant with sadistic tendencies--he never really ripped it out, he just tortured me by pulling at it each time I coughed.

Bastard.

So I got some meds, and I've been taking them for three days. They help, but I'm still fighting this. Every morning is really rough. And, of course, I can't afford to be ill. I'm just going to keep moving, and hang on until I have a day when I can sleep.

Which will be......

Why?

Why do I feel so poor? Why am I obsessed with money? I've got everything under control, but it feels like I'm out of control with obsession. I have to know where every penny goes. I have to know exactly how much money is in our account, every day.

It's so frustrating, because we do have enough money. We do.

Why?

Blew it already.

Well, I made it 9 days before blowing it altogether.

Oh, well.

I'm not going to stop blogging this month. I wanted to start NaBloWriMo to help myself write every day. And I do think about blogging every day, even if I don't do it.

But I didn't. I missed two days.

I have no excuse! I am lame!

Except that I've been very ill with horrible bronchial crud, and last night was our anniversary and we went out to dinner.

But still.

Stressing out

Why do I stress out over other people's stuff?

We are scrambling during October, because we have to have all of our special ed paperwork done by November 1, even if the paperwork isn't due until Nov. 30th. Everyone around the district is doing this, so our situation is not unique.

Still, I get overwhelming stress when I'm going through the list that Downtown sent us, and finding mistakes. I found no less than three items that were current (not overdue as they had on their list), and they hadn't processed paperwork that we had sent down over a week ago.

Furthermore, I get upset when I come across paperwork that is overdue that was on Slacker's caseload. Slacker is the dude who didn't do his paperwork last year, and now since we are all scrambling, I have to do it. Or the new folks at the school have to do it. Or people at other schools who are finding his 8th graders from last year.

I sent him an email, telling him what his slacking had done to me. I didn't ask for anything--I simply told him the effect of his actions. Of course, he hasn't emailed me back, and I don't expect him to. Ass.

So my question is this: I only have a few meetings this month (5 total, I think). It's more than usual, but I can handle it. Why do I get all stressed out over other people's stuff?

Gotta see the sky

My daughter has become proficient in bedtime stalling techniques.

"Snuggle?"

"Bath!"

"Read this?"

The most effective one of all, though, is, "Sky?"

We go out front, sit on the steps, and look at the sky, and we talk. We talk about our day, and what she's going to do tomorrow. We talk about the moon, and how bright it is, or if it's hiding, we wonder where it might be. We talk about the color of the sky, and the weather.

She's got me pegged.

Caterpillars

I grew up in a humd climate. Out in the boonies, essentially. I wasn't a farmer, but it was a farming community. And heavily wooded.

I am so grateful for having that opportunity as a child. What a luxury, to have the freedom as a child to run where I wanted, explore what I wanted, and not have to be within sight of my parents. We lived in fear of everyone's parents--it was a small town. Any breaches of conduct would make their way to my parents' ears before I made it home.

The fall leaves in my hometown are spectactular.

I'm not fond of insects, but I do have fond memories of finding caterpillars. Crawling around in bushes, climbing fences, running through the fields, were all prime opportunities to find one. They were the big, fat, orange and black ones. Does that mean they turned into monarchs? I have no recollection.

Can you feel those tiny little feet, rippling, rippling over your finger? Watching the furry thing contract with a big back hump, and straighten out? They weren't as soft as they looked.

How long could I sit there with one of those? On a cool fall day, with the trees' leaves changing, a breeze blowing by? It must have been hours at a time.

Colors

This morning, in my very small class of 8 students, 4 were wearing red t-shirts. I took note of this, because the students wearing them were not the stars of the class--in fact, had histories of getting in trouble.

So I made note of who they were, on a slip of paper, and put it in my pocket without telling them. I did, however, ask, "What's up with the red?" so they knew I had noticed.

You see, they think teachers are stupid. At least, they act like it.

So a few minutes into first period, our "security" guard comes to my door, and tells me that they have a tip that some girls are going to fight, so I should keep my ears open for that. Also, she told me that a lot of kids were wearing red, and to be aware of that. Okay. Thanks. I'll be aware.

First period ends, and I walk into the hall. I always have a recess whistle on my school keys, and apparently for good reason. I found myself in a sea of red, which was clumping right by my door. I was practically included in this bizarre huddle of adolescent humanity. It smelled faintly like pot and incense and unwashed bodies. I heard one of them say, "Someone snitched on us!"

I blew my whistle. "Get to class, people! Let's go!" I said in my usual, hustle-it-along manner. Right then, another clump, this time of girls, congregated right in front of me. "Get in that classroom!" I barked, and they jumped and skittered away.

It became very apparent that the hallway I was in was to be their staging area. I pulled out my ace in the hole:

"I will personally give every one of you lunch detention if you don't get in a classroom. NOW!"

Empty hallway. Bell rings.

All kids wearing red were systematically called to the auditorium.

When third period ended, I had some time off. I wandered down to the auditorium to see what was going on. It was a sea of red and black--apparently, two factions had decided to show themselves that day. At the back of the auditorium were no fewer than 7 police officers and school security personnel. I estimated that there were 80-100 students sitting there.

It was one helluva day, but we as a faculty did it: there were no fights at our school today.

Memo to Manager Dude

To: Manager Dude
From: Me
Re: Your absolutely bizarre requests

Dude, seriously, you have GOT to be kidding.

Last year, at our school, we had a teacher who did not do his work. He did not finish all of his special education paperwork before he left. As you know, being a sped professional yourself, this causes frustration and anger for those left behind, as that paperwork, by law, must be finished on time. Of course, this now falls to us.

And, according to the edict handed down from on high a week ago, we must all now have ALL paperwork that is either overdue, or due in October and November FINISHED by November 1. We have to get all our paperwork done a month early. This is causing more anger and frustration, as we are all now stretched to the limit, barely functioning as teachers, unable to plan for lessons because we are having about a quadruple amount of meetings than we are used to. This is happening all over the district.

So you email me, and say that, because some dude at my school didn't do his paperwork, I have to go to the high school where the student is, and do it?

Dude, are you high?


Let me know,

groovygrrl

First day of school, take two.

I have had two first days this year. One in August, and one today.

Today, my teeny, tiny little girl went to school. You see, she has a speech delay, and has been receiving private speech therapy all summer. I recommended her for a public school evaluation in June, but of course they couldn't do it, as it was summer.

Right at the beginning of the school year, then, the ball got rolling for her evaluation. It happened pretty quickly, and was handled well. Of course, I teach special ed myself, so I was rather critical of the process.

Did they move faster because they knew I was a special ed teacher? I will never know.

In any case, her evaluation was finished in September, and since then we've been waiting for her paperwork to "go through." Much like digestion, yes. It went through last week, and I talked to the teacher on Friday. On Monday the girlie went to school just for a few minutes to visit, and then today she went to school for real.

I was an emotional wreck on the inside. On the outside, I was "too busy to worry." Ha. That is a lie, for future reference.

Papa picked me up, and we drove to her school in the afternoon. We got there a little early, and her class was outside on the playground. It was so precious to see her running around with other kiddos in her class. We didn't want to take away her play time, so we sat on a bench across the street and watched her. It was amazing, how independent she seemed. I was sad to think that she could be at school and not need me or papa. It's the strangest feeling, to be both sad and happy and proud at the same time.

She is so worn out tonight, which we expected. I think one more episode of Spongebob, then a bath, and then bed.

Sweet cutie.

Insanity.

The only blog I could do yesterday was on NaBloWriMo. It hardly counts. However, I did blog.

This only illustrates why I am doing this project. My life is so ridiculously busy, that I can't find the time to sit down and write one paragraph.

Whatever.

My daughter is going to preschool today, for her first official day! It is also school photo day! Yaaah! I'm excited, but also depressed, because I do not get to go with her today. Papa is taking her, which is fine, but I feel terrible that I can't be there.

I hope she's okay.

Almost over

The day is almost over--literally. Only 40 minutes until midnight. And I'm finally blogging for the day.

My job is going relatively well, I guess. I'm not stressed out, really. I just work continually, with barely any breaks. I also often work late, which annoys me. Tomorrow I'm going to go in early and see if I can get some work done that way.

After school, I came home and made soap. It's the best swirl I've ever done. See for yourself, above.

I have to make at least 5 batches of soap this week, to keep up. Well, not even to keep up. I've got to start making shitloads of soap for the holiday "rush." I'm doing the craft fair this year, as well, so that's going to mean more production. I am gambling that it will also mean more money. Maybe I'll be able to pay all of the sales taxes I've collected all year.

Maybe not.

*******


DH is ill. It seems that he has been ill for several weeks. It's hard to say, because he hides illness and pain and things like that until they become severe. I believe he just has a bad cold, but things sometimes mutate. Ask my friend Ann--strep throat turned into a staph infection in her HEAD. This was the first week in August. She is still not healed. It's awful--she was in the hospital twice.

Of course, DH just whines and pouts, and talks about how uncomfortable he is. "Perhaps you should cancel your Day of Remodeling (Tuesdays) tomorrow, if you're that sick."

"Oh, no, we skipped last week. We can't skip another week."

"Yes, you can. You're sick."

"Naaaw....I'll be better tomorrow."

*sigh*

Swamped!

The market was as I expected today: busy and spendy. Woo hoo! Let's see:

Payday weekend

+

Good weather

=

Good sales.

Coincidence sometimes shines on us.

Because of the good sales day, I am now swamped with soap making. I am out of Ancient Times, I sold out of Ladies' Lovely Complexion Soap today, and I have to make Bare Bones, Straight-Up, No-Nonsense Soap. I also have to start felting soaps, and making gift baskets.

That craft fair looms large! I am feeling The Fear of the Overworked Yet Underprepared.

Of course, I will be prepared when the time comes. No sleep until then, I guess.