What can I do to protect my hip?

I was perusing a web site, and saw an ad with that headline. "What can I do to protect my hip?" There was a photo of an attractive woman with grey hair and a mild expression on her face.

I failed to read the rest of the ad, I found the question so appealing.

How To Protect Your Hip

1. Wear iron pants.
2. Hire an entourage of bodyguards to walk with you wherever you go, on your weak hip's side.
3. Wear those padded shorts for linebackers.
4. Massage it lovingly.
5. Get one of your attractive bodyguards to massage it for you.
6. Oh, yeah, that's the stuff.
7. Move to an area with no hills.
8. Avoid dancefloors.
9. Wear a low-slung, spiked leather belt.
10. Never get out of your comfy chair. (No! Not the comfy chair!)