Wednesday, June 22, 2005

Old South Pearl Street Farmer's Market

The following is the text of an email I sent out today. Hooray for me!

Please mark your calendars and plan to attend the official debut of:

Olde Crone's Bewitching Bath Soap


Old South Pearl Street Farmer's Market
Sundays 9am-1pm
In the 1500 S. block of Pearl Street in Denver

I can't wait to see you there!

I will be offering:

Oatmeal Honey Soap (ugly bar discount: $3.00 each)
Lavender Calendula Baby Soap
Patchouli Rosewood Soap
Ancient Times Superspa Soap (with Dead Sea Mud)
Ladies' Lovely Complexion Soap
Clear Skin Support Soap
Wake Up! soap (a fresh, citrus scent)
Bare Bones, No-Nonsense Soap (no fragrance, herbs, or additives; just soap)

aaaaand announcing:

Olde Crone's Solid Lotion

This lotion comes in a solid form, in a push-up tube. It is similar to a tube for lip balm, only much bigger. The lotion melts when applied to the skin; the tube helps to keep things neat. This fantastic, all-natural lotion contains shea butter, cocoa butter, hempseed oil, and beeswax. Shea butter is a true wonder of the world: use it to heal cracked, dry skin on heels, elbows, around fingernails, etc. Use it on your bald head. Use it on your hands. Shea butter is truly amazing. It is reputed to help heal scar tissue, help prevent wrinkles, helps to soften the skin.... it will heal a broken heart! It will increase your bra size! It will get you backstage passes to Blue Oyster Cult! Is there anything shea butter can't do?*

Please come on down (and bring several friends) to the
Old South Pearl Street Farmer's Market
this Sunday, June 26, and see me.
Mention this email, and I'll attempt to sell you some soap!
What a deal!


The Olde Crone

* Answer: Yes. There is plenty that shea butter can't do. I make no cosmetic claims whatsoever. The statements above are somewhat fabricated, and are meant to entertain and keep you reading. But you knew that.

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