Wednesday, May 04, 2005

Sappy-Ass Shit

Man, I have become such a weepy fool.

The other day, I was so stressed out because of my superiors. I can't go into the details, because I might be filing a grievance because of it.

So I'm totally stressed out, and I want to get out of this situation, but feel helpless because the last time I tried to transfer the fools didn't even read my resumé. I felt trapped, disgusted, and hopeless.

And I'm sitting in my office, working on "writing up" some information about incidents that have happened. I'm doing this during lunch time. My best friend at work, S, is sitting with me, eating his cereal.

All of a sudden, he gets up and says, "Well, I'm going upstairs."

"No! Where are you going? Don't go!" I call after him.

"Well, I've asked you three questions, and you aren't answering me, and I don't even think you knew that I asked questions. You're just really into that stuff you're writing, and I don't see how I'm helping..."

"No! Please, don't go! You're helping just by being here..." and I motion with my hand for him to close the door, because all of a sudden, I'm crying.

S, being someone who actually cares about his friends, came back in and shut the door.

I just broke down. "Just having you in here is helping. I've been so lonely this year. I feel helpless and alone because of the shit that's happening. And you're my best friend here at work, and I hardly get to see you anymore, and..."

And I couldn't finish. I just cried.

And S. comforted me in the best possible way a person could. He said, "You're my best friend at work, too."

And up until that moment, I didn't know that. Because S. is everybody's friend. Everybody loves him. He makes everybody laugh. He gets along with everybody. He makes friends faster than anyone I've ever known.

But I didn't know I was his best friend at work, until that moment. I feel both proud and ashamed; I'm proud to be his friend, and also ashamed that I didn't know how he felt.

Furthermore, I'm ashamed to be posting such sappy-ass shit on my blog. What kind of fucking pity-party is this, anyway? I feel like everybody's lame-ass, charity case friend.

1 comment:

  1. Anonymous8:22 PM

    Wish I could hug you too...hang in there.

    Your fairy godmother, whose magic wand is mysteriously broken but will be fixed next Tuesday once the parts come in.

    :-)

    ReplyDelete