Quasi-drunken phone conversations on New Year's Eve

"You can't make out with a St. Bernard. Well...you can, but it's just wrong."



HAPPY NEW YEAR!

I was tagged.

Or called out, however you want to look at it. Do people really learn stuff from these? *sigh*

Here goes:

ABCs of Me(me)

A- Available or taken? Available for what?

B- Best Friend? Izzy, I suppose. Sometimes my daughter. Myself. I often feel alone.

C- Cake or Pie? Pie. Pumpkin. That I made.

D- Drink of Choice? Coffee or water.

E- Essential Item? My lappy.

F- Favorite Color? Purple and green.

G- Gummi Bears or Worms? Bears.

H- Hometown? Currently? Denver, Colorado Recently? Denver, Colorado Originally? Amana, Iowa.

I- Indulgence? Time by myself at Lake Steam Baths. It's not expensive--the time away is my indulgence.

J- January or February? February--my birthday, my daughter's birthday (same day), my dad's birthday, Eric's birthday, Debbie's birthday.

K- Kids and names? Kira!

L- Life is incomplete without? My girl. My husband.

M- Marriage Date? October, 1996

N- Number of Siblings? 2--one sister and one brother

O- Oranges or apples? Clementine oranges

P- Phobias/Fears? Insects. Financial insolvency.

Q- Favorite Quote? "Whatever you can do, or dream you can do, begin it. Boldness has genius, power, and magic in it." -- Goethe

R- Reason to Smile? My daughter's.

S- Season? Fall.

T- Tag three people! Must I? Fine--SueEllen, Esri, and some random blogger to be reavealed later, upon participation.

U- Unknown Fact About Me? I'm actually quite intelligent.

V- Vegetable you hate? Raw tomatoes.

W- Worst habit? Too much talk, not enough action.

X- X-Rays you've had? Teeth, lungs, ankle bones.

Y- Your favorite food? Roast chicken.

Z- Zodiac? Aquarius/Capricorn/Leo

End-of-Year Post

I am tired.

"The Year That Was" makes me want to barf. I am tired of the Top Ten Most Awesomest Stuff That Happened in 2006 articles in the paper/magazines/blogs. Sick of it!

I'm also sick of the snow. Perhaps I'm a bit touchy from the cabin fever. Strap yourselves in, folks.

Instead of recapping this past year, let's make my annual wish list, shall we? We shall. In the spirit of manifesting the life we want, we shall now proclaim the End-of-Year Post to be:

How My Life Is Now: A List of Affirmations

Those who practice affirmations should know that, to do them correctly, one must say them as if they are already true. Example:

I am a publishing magnate.

Okay. Here we go:

• I live in a lovely home, situated on one acre, in a lovely part of the world.
• I drive a stylish, safe, and useful vehicle.
• I wear lovely clothes.
• I am wealthy.
• I carry this handbag.
• I wear this jewelry.
• I wear this watch.

This is too much fun. I'll add to the list more, later.

The funniest of the Internets.

Viewer discretion advised. And also prepare yourself to laugh. Go pee first, then read it. Hilarious!

Merry Christmas.

Merry Christmas to all who celebrate it. I hope Santa brought you what you wanted.

I got:

• two extra days of vacation (no word yet on whether or not we'll have to "make them up"--probably will, but for now, I'll take two extra days when the kids were insanse)
• over 2 feet of snow
  
• my daughter, opening presents and saying "present" and "help me, mama" and "it's a toy!"
• nice dinners with my immediate family
• nice Christmas Eve with husband's family, including cousin J, who ran around like a maniac with my daughter, which is hilarious to watch
• time to myself to take a bath and read Entrepreneur magazine
• coffee every morning
• time playing in the snow with my kiddo--she's never had the opportunity to do so, so that was a hoot--we built a snowman, making the eyes, nose, and arms out of carrots for the neighborhood squirrels. Oh, and the snow "man" had boobs.
  
• time in the evenings watching "family" movies: Ice Age, Madagascar, March of the Penguins

Too, too many benefits to list. Got a couple of lovely gifts from my hubby, as well. But please note how many times the word "time" is listed above.

Bless you all.

SNOW DAY!

SNOWDAY!SNOWDAY!SNOWDAY!SNOWDAY!SNOWDAY!SNOWDAY!SNOWDAY!
SNOWDAY!SNOWDAY!SNOWDAY!SNOWDAY!SNOWDAY!SNOWDAY!SNOWDAY!
SNOWDAY!SNOWDAY!SNOWDAY!SNOWDAY!SNOWDAY!SNOWDAY!SNOWDAY!
SNOWDAY!SNOWDAY!SNOWDAY!SNOWDAY!SNOWDAY!SNOWDAY!SNOWDAY!
SNOWDAY!SNOWDAY!SNOWDAY!SNOWDAY!SNOWDAY!SNOWDAY!SNOWDAY!
SNOWDAY!SNOWDAY!SNOWDAY!SNOWDAY!SNOWDAY!SNOWDAY!SNOWDAY!
SNOWDAY!SNOWDAY!SNOWDAY!SNOWDAY!SNOWDAY!SNOWDAY!SNOWDAY!
SNOWDAY!SNOWDAY!SNOWDAY!SNOWDAY!SNOWDAY!SNOWDAY!SNOWDAY!
SNOWDAY!SNOWDAY!SNOWDAY!SNOWDAY!SNOWDAY!SNOWDAY!SNOWDAY!
SNOWDAY!SNOWDAY!SNOWDAY!SNOWDAY!SNOWDAY!SNOWDAY!SNOWDAY!


You think kids get excited about a day off? They've got nothing on the excitement that teachers feel.

Whiny and petulant

Do you know what it's like to hate your job, and not be able to quit? I suppose Drew Carey would tell me that I belong to an exclusive support network called "Everybody" and they meet at "The Bar."

But man, I tell you, it's tough. It's tough when, ever since I had a kid, I've wanted to stay home more than anything. I knew, somehow, that I was supposed to be home with her, supposed to be there for her every single minute.

But I can't. I have to go away to work every day.

And now? Now she has autism. And nobody knows why, of course. They say it isn't our fault. They say it's not environmental, not because of a lack of vitamins, not because of trauma. They say it's genetic. But if it's something she was born with, then who the hell else do you blame? She came out of my body. I birthed her. Therefore, I am to blame.

But it isn't that simple, is it? Disabilities aren't that simple. Placing blame isn't often helpful. Even "pinpointing a cause" isn't helpful, because it's in the past, and she is here, now, and I have to help her. But I have to go away to work every day. It's torn me up ever since the day I had to return to work, and it still tears me up. Tears me up worse, now, since her disability sounds so stinking severe.

It's put me in a bit of a tailspin.

It's also affected my holiday spirit, to be very frank. I'm not as excited about the holidays as I normally would be. I'm not depressed, just stressed out. The whole thing makes my stomach hurt if I think too much about it.

Her face is here, right in front of me, taped to my computer. At home, her face is my desktop picture.

I suppose she was born to me for a reason. But I've got to be done with the blaming pretty soon. It's tiresome.

And I've got to be self-employed, soon. Every day feels very, very desperate.

A funny.

Just for you.

Feeling snarky? Then watch this...

...because even though it's a bit glurgy, it's true.

Three trees!

This weekend holiday has gone by far too fast. However, it was full of family and friends, and for that I am grateful. I didn't do much of anything for business, which is rare.

It felt good.

Thursday we had a nice group at our house for the feasting. The next day I went shopping, which I don't normally do. I got a few great deals--800 thread count sheets, a new pre-lit tree, and a bunch of fleece fabric on sale. Friend Ann came over around 10am (yes, all that shopping was very early), and I helped her sew some blankets for her boys.

She then joined me for some afternoon shopping, during which time I purchased gifts for my DH. It was so nice to be out shopping with a friend--this is something I very rarely do. I am most often shopping alone, or with my 3-year-old.

Saturday was spent filling a soap order, shipping it, and then dropping off my sewing machine because it was injured. It didn't die, but it did curl up in a ball and refuse to move. So I took it in to be serviced, and can you imagine? They gave me a loaner sewing machine, so I could get my holiday projects done. I love that place.

I then went antique shopping with friends Esri and Joe, and we had lunch. Went home in the afternoon and was pleasantly surprised to learn that Friend Steve was on his way up to Denver, and did we want to get together with him and some friends? Of course! So I hosted the party, and Ann came over yet again, as did Carla and her brother, Jeff. We sat around and played games and had drinks, and went to bed far too late.

Then today it was time for holiday decorations. I dragged out all the boxes and went on my yearly treasure hunt. You see, each year on the day after Christmas, I go to the sales to buy ornaments and accoutrements for half price. Of course, I forget what I've purchased, so every time I decorate, it's a surprise. I love it. I opened up the new tree I purchased on Friday and of course, one-half of one string of lights didn't work on the pre-lit tree. I had to augment the lights--no big deal, as long as they all continue to work.

I Freecycled my old tree. It was claimed within 9 minutes and gone within one hour. I love Freecycle, and encourage everyone to try it. You'll be hooked.

So I decorated and decorated, and now our house is very festive. We have a few more lighted goodies out front, and lots of lights inside. I also cleaned the kitchen and did the dishes, did a load of laundry, put away 3 baskets of laundry, and cleaned the catbox.

Hmm. A relaxing vacation? Somewhat.

...Can't....Move.....

.......ate........too.............much.........

Getting ready

We weren't going to have a huge Thanksgiving at our house. It was just going to be us and Friend Jerry.

Well, Jerry can't come, and neither can his wife Maxine, because they both have to work. So Izzy invited Friend Pete, who can come.

Then CB decided to make up a story about how they made a scheduling mistake at work, and scheduled him when he's not supposed to be scheduled, and therefore can't have the Thanksgiving at his house that he was going to have for his RF and his F, which he had decided upon AFTER being invited to our party, and is now bringing his kids to our party. Along with a family friend, who is not C like CB is.

So! Instead of 4 people, we are having 8 adults and 3 kids.

Gotta get more cleanin' done.





CB = Crazy Brother

RF= Random Friend

F= Family

C=Crazy

Sunday, blessed Sunday

So THIS is what Sunday is supposed to be like. Shopping at Target at a leisurely pace, eating when I feel like it, instead of on a schedule, really enjoying my coffee, reading the paper, doing research, buying books on the internet....

Yeah. All that's missing is a nap. Maybe next weekend.

you've really got to read it.

Anybody who wants to help publicize my new blog is welcome to do so:

Caught In Class

I find it funny. However, people who think all schoolchildren should be strung up by their toes might not want to read it. Or maybe it will change your mind. I don't know. Go there and find out.

Gifts for Yule

I'm participating in my first-ever craft fair, today and tomorrow. Come on down if you are in the neighborhood.

What it's like.

Since Friday, I have made:

• 168 bars of soap
• 40 tubes of solid lotion, filled, labeled, and shrink-wrapped
• 50 lip balms, filled
• 50 lip balms, labeled and shrink wrapped (this is a low estimate)
• 41 sugar scrubs, made, filled, labeled, and wrapped

*collapses*

Ghetto Halloween Rules.

1. Have decorations up. Carve a pumpkin. Leave your light on. Then, leave the house and don't leave out any candy.

2. Send your children out for trick-or-treating with no coat.

3. Send your children out alone. In a city.

4. Send your children trick-or-treating with no costume. None. What is that?

Okay, I'm done.

New blog! Please tell your friends!

I have created a new blog! It will rival all the others for hilarious content! To wit:

Caught in Class


Enjoy. But tell your blog friends first.

NaBloWriMo is over!

Today is the last day of October, and thus ends NaBloWriMo. Thanks to those who participated. I learned a lot, and read a lot, and mostly, I blogged a lot. And that's what it was all about. *sniff*

For those who didn't participate, consider it for next year! Perhaps we'll have a ton of folks doing it. I'll keep the blog, and post there every once in a while, to keep it active.

'Twas fun! Now it's over. *sighs* At least I made it through. I think I only missed two days, and blogged extra to make up for it.

I can't believe I did another project. It just goes to show you: if you want something done, ask a busy person to do it.


But don't ask me.

Tuesday, Bloody Tuesday

*teacher walks in with a bloody finger*

Teacher 1: damn it! I cut my finger on a box.

Other teacher,who borrows first teacher's room: Eew! You're all bloody. You're Bloody McGee.

Teacher 1: It fits for Halloween, anyway.

Student writing a scary story: Miss! I need your finger to put blood on my paper!

Teacher 1: No!

Other teacher: Stop that!

Student: Well then, can I have the stapler?

Both teachers: NO!!