What Happened Last Week

...I'll just post the emails.

What follows are the emails (names omitted) that went back-and-forth from me to the teacher who completely lost all decorum and freaked out while I was teaching. I don't know if it will be clear to all what happened, or not. To teachers, it will be clear and appalling. To the rest of you, it goes like this: there is an unwritten rule of classroom management, in which if one teacher/administrator tells a student to do something, any other teacher just butts out and lets that person handle it. That way, the students get a clear idea that the adults have solidarity, and they can't play one off the other. It is very important to be this way in a middle school.

*sigh* Anyway, here are the emails, in order. I wrote the first one, and she wrote me back. Then I wrote one more, and that's been it so far. Please note the dearth of apology on her part.

A-----,

I had asked to speak with you privately, because what I had to say was not appropriate to say in front of the children. Therefore, I will tell you via email.

1. I was beginning the class, and you were not there. Therefore, I had to make decisions about how the class was going to move forward. I had asked Raysha to leave, because she had said, "F---you," to another student. I told her to wait for me. I was going to deal with her when I got a minute.

2. I then asked N----- to join her, because she called M------ a "stupid retard." I was going to deal with her when I got a minute.

3. That is the way I work, when I am running a class. You made it very clear to me, and to the whole class, that you feel I cannot control the class, and that you would rather they answer to you. You made this clear by bringing those children back in, and dressing me down in front of the class, after I had asked them to stay out and wait for me. You made it even more clear when you began to lecture them about wasting time, and asking them to apologize to me. You also made it clear, to the class and to me, that you do not think I am capable of teaching the class, because you came back in and started dictating what we were going to do.

4. When I tried to talk with you about this, you indicated that you did not want to talk about it. This tells me that you did not approve of the way I was doing things.

5. I had previously received E----'s email about students in the hall. However, I was about to proceed with the lesson in such a way that I could go deal with the situation. I was handling it in my way.

6. My conclusions, after this interaction are that you:

a. think I have no control over the class.
b. are not comfortable with me teaching your class.
and c. would rather I wasn't there.


I would like to conclude by letting you know that I feel insulted by your actions today.


Her response to me is as follows (please note that her first comment about mediation came from her conversation with the principal. I had gone to him, letting him know that I might need mediation in this matter):


A--,

I do not think mediation is necessary. I do, however, think it is important that are methods of resolution are similar. I do not think it is ever appropriate to have students out of the hall without being supervised. I usually send them to Mr. H----, our student advisor, or remove them from the group. We can discuss if this is okay with you, but is important that we are on the same page. I also think it would be good for you to have more opportunities for instruction, so the students will become accustomed to your teaching style. I address issue to build communication/relationship; not to demean anyone.

As far as the two situations, M------ admitted to the fact that he started the whole incident between he and N-----. N----- was merely repeating what he said. M------ apologized to N-----, and they worked it out.

R----- did admit to saying profanity and she apologize to A------ for saying that to her. She also wrote a letter of apology to me for being disruptive in class. She remained with Mr. H---- for the remaining of the period.

Hopefully this experience will allow an opportunity for us to collaborate and figure out ways to resolve issues, which are similar, regardless of whether both of us are in the room or not.

Have a good day,

A-----


*fuming, even as I am reading this again*

Ok, and my most current response:

A--,

I do not think mediation is necessary. I do, however, think it is important that are methods of resolution are similar. I do not think it is ever appropriate to have students out of the hall without being supervised.I usually send them to Mr. H----, our student advisor, or remove them from the group. We can discuss if this is okay with you, but is important that we are on the same page.

Since you do not think it is "ever appropriate" to have students in the hall without being supervised, then I don't think we will come to an agreement on that. However, when there are two of us in the room, then there is never a need to have a student alone in the hallway, is there? I made a decision as the only teacher in the room at the time. I am not complaining about that, I am just stating it as a fact that pertains to my issue.

When I am the only teacher, and someone needs to be removed, I either send them to the office, or send them to the hall to wait for me to conference with them. They were not sent to the hall indefinitely. I sent them there to wait for me, so I could talk with them privately, and to send the message to the students that a person may not remain in the room if they are behaving badly. That is how I usually do things, when I am the only teacher in the room, making the decisions. I did not have the chance to handle that situation today, because you took over.

That is my issue here: that you took over the situation when I was teaching. I had made a decision, and you swooped in and usurped it. That sends the message to the children that they don't have to follow my directions.


I also think it would be good for you to have more opportunities for instruction, so the students will become accustomed to your teaching style.

Many of these students experience my teaching style during other classes. Others know my teaching style because I am the teacher during period 3, when you have a sub. They know how I work, because they have had that experience several times. Each time, they behaved differently, but each time I handled it.


I address issue to build communication/relationship; not to demean anyone.

I felt demeaned when you addressed this issue in front of the children,and in the middle of instruction.

As far as the two situations, M------ admitted to the fact that he started the whole incident between he and N-----. N----- was merely repeating what he said. M------apologized to N-----, and they worked it out.

R----- did admit to saying profanity and she apologize to A------ for saying that to her. She also wrote a letter of apology to me for being disruptive in class. She remained with Mr. H---- for the remaining of the period.

I would have found out what actually happened, had I been allowed to handle the situation myself. As it stands, I did not have the chance. Can you imagine my frustration, when a student who had just said the "f" word was led back into class, and you then told me that she "needed to be there?" What was I supposed to do? Question your authority in front of the students? I will not do that, to any teacher.


Hopefully this experience will allow an opportunity for us to collaborate and figure out ways to resolve issues, which are similar, regardless of whether both of us are in the room or not.


I suspect that we do not see the situation the same way, since your email did not address my issues, which I thought were very clear. Perhaps not. I'll be more explicit:

I feel incredibly insulted by the entire experience, because my authority as the teacher was usurped in the middle of instruction, and I was belittled in front of the children. That is my issue.




Now, as far as resolving issues when both of us are in the room, I can answer that one for you: I am there to serve my students with special needs. When problems arise, I'm happy to help with them. When shared reading time comes, I'm happy to read. I am also happy to simply assist the students with special needs, and remain otherwise silent, if you would prefer.

Right now, I cannot get over my anger at being belittled in front of children. Since you did not apologize for it before, I presume you don't think you did anything wrong. The fact remains that I feel insulted, no matter how you perceived the situation.

E---- has informed me that he would like to observe me during period 3 on Monday. I don't have time today to have a face-to-face conversation with you, because my schedule is tight, as usual. At this point, I guess I'll just have to roll with whatever comes my way on Monday. I feel this is still unresolved.


And THAT is why I couldn't write about it last week. Now, I did have my observation today, after talking with E----, the principal. You won't believe what happened: During the lesson that we had agreed I would teach, she interrupts, saying, "I've been trying to remain silent, but..." and then proceeds to teach for the next 5 minutes. The content she was teaching was what I was just going to say, to boot. After the class, in the hallway, the principal said to me," That was nice of her, to interject and then teach for 5 minutes, wasn't it?" being sarcastic. I am so glad he was there to see it.

*sigh* *rolls eyes*

Do you people now see why I have to get out of here?








--groovygrrl, queen of cranky emails