Call for Submissions!

Paper Bag Press is a new online erotica shop. Only the highest-quality, erotic short stories will be allowed to grace your eyes. But first, the shop needs your stories.

Do you write erotic fiction? Maybe you write fiction, but need some money. Maybe you write nonfiction, but the only fiction that you write well is erotica. Maybe you've got some stories in a drawer somewhere, and you've been meaning to submit them for publication somewhere, but you never got around to it, because all the other sites only take novel-length romantic stuff.

Now is the time to get around to it. We want the sex.

Submit your best erotic short stories, and cross your fingers. The first 25 stories that are published will receive a 5% royalty bonus! All stories will be sold online, as electronic downloads. This saves trees, and gets your story published quicker. It also allows you to make money quicker. Print books may be in the future, as this is a new venture, but for now, online will be the way it goes.

How short is short erotica? What will they accept or not? When, oh when will that woman get back to me? I submitted my story yesterday!

All of these questions are answered at the newest purveyor of the highest-quality erotica on the planet. Hurry--go visit now. Type up those stories and submit them! Submit, I say!

Second picture of the day

Absinthe is a trip. Don't drink too much!

Picture of the day

They are just recognizable enough, no? I love it. Click on the photo to see it larger.

Women aren't human

Didn't you know? You crazy, independent-minded fiend. Stop that original thought, or the men will kill you.

When you don't want to sp@m your friends...

...you blog.

*****

Hey,

Want a free Obama/Biden sticker? MoveOn's giving them away totally free--even the shipping's free. I just got mine, and wanted to share the opportunity with you.

Click this link to get a free Obama/Biden sticker:

http://pol.moveon.org/barackstickers/?id=-9311973-uEdvhHx&rc=

Thanks! Gobama! Gobiden!

Best. Saturday. Evar.

The best Saturday evar is the Saturday where you've been working for 10 days and then you don't have to.

And, you get to sleep in until 6:15am. If that tells how how close to the ass crack of dawn I get up every day.

We ran errands. And ditched one, because the line was so freaking long. Ate salad for lunch. Had M&Ms for dessert. Now I'm thinking of making some tea, as it has really clouded up and is threatening to rain. No more heat today--it has cooled off considerably.

Yay, Saturday. *sighs*

School has started

It takes a while for me to get into the groove of everything, so I won't be posting that often. Not like I post often, anyway.

My daughter started kindergarten, so that's a big thing, and I'm back at school at the same time. It's an adjustment. I'm not used to making lunches every day, but I find myself making hers and mine at the same time each night. Let's hear it for organization!

I am You are He is She was We will be

The title here is mine. Her title is "love poem." I'm just titling the blog post.

Enjoy. I love you.

Still Laughing

Hee hee hee...

"...where ourselves sells female raised soaps, shampoos, lotions, phrase balms and supernumerary."

Random customer person: Hey, Amy! What do you sell?

Amy: Oh, female raised soaps, shampoos, lotions, phrase balms, and supernumerary.

Random customer person: WTF??????????????

Amy: You know. Phrase balms. Supernumerary? No? Wait...

LOL
LOL

ROTFLMAO

I have a Google Alert for my name. I'm just curious to know when someone might blog about me or my soap.

So I got an alert today, and went to the blog. And now, I can't peel myself off the floor, as I am consumed with laughter. Tears stream down my face with abandon.

Here's what I found:

"...

These created soaps are ready-to-wear in uniformity with Amy Kalinchuk aka The Of marriageable age Frump, who is a ground adviser ultramodern Denver. Subliminal self taught herself the virtu in reference to flop-structuring and was afterward patterning like that motley soaps that self needed in transit to puzzle out how so that be inspired alterum musical revue plus the bracket speaking of myself alikeness.

If inner self’referring to waggon into Louisville, Lafayette yale Boulder, inner man character fail in contemplation of desire alter ego at the Autostrada Faire this final Friday, 5pm in transit to 9pm. Her won’t be the case there being as how the stay on statistically probable, which is Dewiness All the time, ado Sedate 17th.

If yours truly are branch in transit to Denver old ethical self could gain alter at Historic West Side Littleton Tax farmer’s Dump, errantry pertaining to Nevada and Paramount, 9am-2pm in contact with Saturdays gold depository September 29, 2007. Canary-yellow at Past use Northern Dusty Track Connoisseur’s Furnish, 1500 Northwest exclude relative to Honest man corduroy road, between Florida and Iowa, 9 side frequency so 1 pm wherewithal Sundays penny bank October 28, 2007.

If myself are not truck, certified teacher’t have a conniption! Alterum has a mesh forum, Olde Old trot’s Heart-robbing Finnish bath Pantomime, where ourselves sells female raised soaps, shampoos, lotions, phrase balms and supernumerary. He’s cast concerning A to izzard- because those with regard to us who trouble for spend numerous and/or smatter open arms plurative bunkum formulation, I has graphometric a recruit called How in Bring about Bath that he sells taking place ethical self cobweb scene.

Hither’s Amy amid I fantastic wares! And ourselves’s not yeah outmoded aureateness olde!

What pulled other self towards Amy’s shack lovemaking a field magnet was the quirk. What endeared yours truly extra was that self was casting this back home. And Alter ego was sold as far as She mold off the wall that himself soaps are universal-instinctual. Yourself does not wage something substitute ingredients, fragrances, marshaling additives. ..."

Dang, that shack lovemaking is hard work, let me tell you. Especially when I'm such a frump. I do enjoy being a ground advisor to all things ultramodern, however. And you KNOW that I'm changing the name of my business to

Olde Old trot's Heart-Robbing Finnish bath Pantomime.

YOU KNOW IT WILL HAPPEN.

LOL

p.s. someone tell me why those blogs are full of this gibberish. They never seem to be selling anything, or giving any information .

Don't waste your money!

Dang!

I am so sick of seeing entire ebooks (how long are they?) being sold on etsy that are about copyrighting one's work.

You wanna copyright your work? Click here. You can file online and pay with your credit card--it's cheaper than sending in paper. You can also submit your work as a .pdf!

The End! It's not difficult at all, people. It's practically the easiest thing in the world to do, as far as government paperwork is concerned. You fill out information, and they send you your copyright in the mail. How much easier can it get!?

Sheesh. If you can buy shoes online, you can register your copyright. Just my public service announcement of the day.

Ignoramus

Why have I not used stevia before? Why have I heard of stevia, but done nothing about it? We need to get off our sugar addiction. What if all those calories were consumed in the form of beans?

We'll solve the energy crisis!

Ha! I just made a stevia riddle.